glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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