So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the day after is always just damage control
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
