We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
