pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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