she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
