i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
