The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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