you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
