yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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