I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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