i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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