By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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