I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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