I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
