why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
