My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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