Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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