Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need a burrito and a hug.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
