One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We need to get me chipped asap
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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