i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
