dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
