the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
