My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
