It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize