Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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