So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
