Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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