Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
