dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
