Me too!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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