I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
