i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
