It's like God shit irony all over that family
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
