I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
