do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
