actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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