You really coming over, don't trick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
