im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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