Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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