So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
