Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
