I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
