you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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