You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
