even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
