Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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