what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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