I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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