She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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