She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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