Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize