I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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