somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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