i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
