Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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