We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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