I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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