You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
