Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
