Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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