O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
