Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
